This was my idea at it's most basic stage, and in order to develop a narrative I had to change this slightly. As I had decided to make my story follow one girl throughout her day, I decided to start the story with her waking up and finishing with her going to bed at the end of the day, and so I started my story with "Good Morning" on the first double page, then ""What do you want to be today?" on the second. I decided to end my book with her wanting to be the moon, and the text on the last page reads "What do you want to be tomorrow?"
After researching the things children want to be, I found that most of the more interesting ones weren't career ambitions or things they can become in reality, which made me question the "When I grow up" part of my text.
I thought about why children wanted to be those things, and what benefit they would get from it. Children are not particularly patient, they often don't understand the concept of time and waiting until "later" for something. Most children would not look think that they want to become a cat later in their life, they want to become one now.
Because of this I decided to change my text in my book to "I want to be... A Flower" rather than "When I grow up I want to be... A flower"
Because of this I decided to change my text in my book to "I want to be... A Flower" rather than "When I grow up I want to be... A flower"
So at this point the text in my book is:
page 1 - (front cover)
page 2/3 - (end pages)
page 4/5 - "Good Morning"
page 6/7 - "What do you want to be today?"
page 8/9 - "I want to be.."
page 10/11 - "A Giant"
page 12/13 - "I want to be.."
page 14/15 - "A Leaf"
page 16/17 - "I want to be.."
page 18/19 - "A Flower"
page 20/21 - "I want to be.."
page 22/23 - "A Cat"
page 24/25 - "I want to be.."
page 26/27 - "The Moon"
page 28/29 - "What shall I be tomorrow?"
page 30/31 - (end pages)
page 32 - (back cover)
This is the text I was using whilst designing my page layouts, however I was worried that it was too simple to interest children. I went back to thinking about the reasons children want to be these things, and decided to include them within the text. This meant re-organising how the text went onto each page, as I still had to fit it into my 32 page book format, so I decided to make the first page of a pair "I want to be the Moon..." and the second page "...So I can stay awake all night!"
This made my story more interesting to read, and hopefully will appeal to children, whilst still fitting into my original page format.
My text for each page is now:
page 1 - (front cover)
page 2/3 - (end pages)
page 4/5 - "Good Morning"
page 6/7 - "What do you want to be today?"
page 8/9 - "I want to be a Giant..."
page 10/11 - "...So I can reach everything!"
page 12/13 - "I want to be a Leaf..."
page 14/15 - "...So I can drift in the wind!"
page 16/17 - "I want to be a Flower..."
page 18/19 - "...So butterflies will land on me!"
page 20/21 - "I want to be a Cat..."
page 22/23 - "...So I can go exploring all day!"
page 24/25 - (no text)
page 26/27 - "I want to be the Moon..."
page 28/29 - "...So I can stay awake all night!"
page 30/31 - (end pages)
page 32 - (back cover)
At this stage in my project I am about to put together my final art work for my pages, and so this is the version that will go into my book. It is the most effective wording for my book that I have come up with so far, and I need to start putting the text into my layout so I can't spend much longer making changes, and so this is my final draft of my text.
No comments:
Post a Comment